Your Family.
Your Journey. Your Way.
Xytex has proudly supported LGBTQ+ families for 50 years. However your family looks, whatever your path to parenthood—we're honored to be part of your journey.
Find Your Path
Every family-building journey is unique. Rather than tell you what your path should look like, we're here to support the one you choose. Explore the options below, or talk to our team for personalized guidance.
Carrying Your Pregnancy
For: Anyone who plans to carry a pregnancy themselves—whether you're partnered or solo.
Your options include:
IUI (Intrauterine Insemination)
A simple procedure where donor sperm is placed directly in the uterus, timed with ovulation. Can be done at a clinic or, in many states, at home.
IVF (In Vitro Fertilization)
Eggs are retrieved, fertilized with donor sperm in a lab, and the embryo is transferred. Often recommended after multiple IUI cycles or for specific medical situations.
At-Home Insemination
In many states, you can order ICI vials shipped directly to your home. Learn more about at-home options →
Planning together? If you have a partner who isn't carrying, you can browse donors together, discuss traits that matter to both of you, and make this decision as a team. Our 7-day free profile access gives you time to explore without pressure.
Reciprocal IVF
For: Partners who both want a biological connection to your child.
How it works:
One partner provides the egg, and the other carries the pregnancy. The donor sperm fertilizes the egg, creating an embryo that's transferred to the carrying partner. This means:
- One partner is the genetic parent
- One partner is the gestational (birth) parent
- Both share a biological bond with your child
What you'll need:
- A fertility clinic that offers reciprocal IVF
- Egg retrieval from one partner
- Embryo transfer to the other partner
- Donor sperm from Xytex
Why families choose this: Reciprocal IVF allows both partners to participate physically in creating your family. Many couples find this deeply meaningful.
Using a Gestational Carrier or Surrogate
For: Anyone who needs or chooses to have someone else carry the pregnancy.
Your options include:
Gestational Surrogacy
An embryo (created with your egg/sperm or donor gametes) is carried by a gestational carrier who has no genetic connection to the child.
Traditional Surrogacy
The surrogate provides the egg and carries the pregnancy. Less common due to legal complexity.
What Xytex provides:
We supply the donor sperm. You'll work with a surrogacy agency or independent surrogate, plus a fertility clinic to coordinate the process.
Key considerations:
- Surrogacy laws vary significantly by state
- Costs typically range from $100,000-$200,000+ total
- We can ship directly to your surrogate's fertility clinic anywhere in the U.S.
Known Donor vs. Sperm Bank
For: Anyone weighing whether to use a known donor (friend/family) or a sperm bank.
Why families choose a sperm bank:
| Sperm Bank | Known Donor |
|---|---|
| Comprehensive health & genetic screening (569 tests at Xytex) | Screening is your responsibility |
| Clear legal boundaries—donor has no parental rights | Requires legal contracts; can be contested |
| Identity disclosure when child turns 18 (if desired) | Relationship dynamics may complicate things |
| Consistent availability for future siblings | Availability depends on the person |
| No existing relationship to navigate | Existing relationship adds complexity |
Our recommendation: If you're considering a known donor, consult with a reproductive attorney first. If you choose a sperm bank, you get medical confidence and legal clarity.
Single & LGBTQ+
For: Individuals building a family on your own.
You don't need a partner to become a parent. Single parents by choice are one of our fastest-growing family types, and we support you fully.
Visit our Single Parents page →The Xytex Difference
We've supported LGBTQ+ families since 1975—long before it was common or easy. Here's why families continue to choose us.
100% Identity Disclosed Donors
What it means:
Every donor in our current program has agreed to let their identifying information be shared with donor-conceived individuals when they turn 18.
Why it matters for your family:
Research shows that many donor-conceived people want to know their genetic origins. Identity disclosure gives your child the option to connect—it doesn't require it, but it keeps the door open.
“We wanted our daughter to have the choice to learn about her donor someday. That mattered to us more than anything else.”
— Jamie, Portland
Baby AND Adult Photos
What it means:
Unlike many sperm banks that only show childhood photos, we provide both baby photos and photos of donors as adults.
Why it matters for your family:
You can see who your child may resemble not just as a baby, but as they grow up. For many LGBTQ+ families where the child won't share genetics with both parents, this visibility is especially meaningful.
569 Genetic Conditions Tested
What it means:
Through our partnership with Invitae, every donor is screened for 569 genetic conditions—one of the most comprehensive panels in the industry.
Why it matters for your family:
Peace of mind. You'll receive a detailed genetic report for your donor, and our team offers complimentary consultations with genetic counselors to help you understand the results.
50 Years of Trust
What it means:
Founded in 1975, Xytex is America's longest-running sperm bank.
Why it matters for your family:
We've been here through decades of change—supporting families when others wouldn't. Our experience means we've seen every situation, answered every question, and refined our processes over 50 years.
No Judgment. Ever.
What it means:
Your family structure is celebrated here, not just tolerated. Our team is trained to support all paths to parenthood without assumptions.
Why it matters for your family:
What you won't hear from us:
- ×Which one of you is the mom/dad?
- ×Who's the real parent?
- ×Assumptions about your anatomy, identity, or relationship
What you will hear:
- How can we support your specific journey?
- Here are all your options—you decide what's right.
Navigating the Legal Landscape
LGBTQ+ family law varies dramatically by state—and it's evolving constantly. Understanding your legal landscape is essential to protecting your family.
Establishing Parentage
The challenge:
In many states, the non-biological or non-gestational parent isn't automatically recognized as a legal parent.
Solutions vary by state:
- Some states allow both parents on the birth certificate without adoption
- Some states require second-parent adoption for the non-bio parent
- Some states have unclear or hostile laws for LGBTQ+ families
Our recommendation: Consult with an LGBTQ+ family law attorney in your state before you begin the process. This is not optional—it's essential.
Donor Parental Rights
The good news:
When you use a licensed sperm bank like Xytex, the donor has no parental rights to your child. This is legally clear and well-established.
The complexity:
If you use a known donor without proper legal documentation, parental rights can become contested—even years later.
Why sperm banks provide clarity:
Our donors sign legal agreements relinquishing all parental rights. This protects your family.
State-Specific Considerations
States with strong LGBTQ+ family protections:
California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington, D.C.
Many other states have complex or evolving laws—we strongly recommend legal consultation regardless of where you live.
Colorado note (2025): New Donor-Conceived Persons Protection Act requirements took effect. Read our Colorado compliance FAQ →
Our client services team can share what we know about requirements in your area—though we always recommend independent legal counsel.
Thinking Ahead
Siblings from the Same Donor
Why it matters: Many families want biological siblings to share the same donor. But popular donors sell out—sometimes quickly.
How to plan:
- Purchase extra vials during your first order
- Store them at Xytex for future use
- Use our 50% Vial Buyback if you don't need them
Storage incentives:
- 4-7 vials → 1 year FREE storage
- 8+ vials → 3 years FREE storage
“We bought 8 vials upfront. Our first child took 3 cycles. We had 5 left for her brother, conceived 2 years later. Same donor, no stress.”
— Alex & Jordan
Costs to Expect
Transparent pricing matters. Here's what to budget for:
| Item | Typical Cost |
|---|---|
| Donor sperm vial (ICI/IUI) | $1,200 - $1,800 per vial |
| Shipping | $200 - $350 |
| Tank deposit (refundable) | $875 |
| Profile access | Free 7-day trial, then $75/30 days |
Not included: Not included: Fertility clinic fees, IVF costs, surrogacy costs (if applicable)
Financing available through our partnership with CapexMD. Learn more →
Families Share Their Journeys
Every family's path is different. Here's how some LGBTQ+ families describe their experience with Xytex.
“We went through 4 IUI cycles before our daughter arrived. Through all of it, Xytex was patient, supportive, and never made us feel like just a transaction. When we called to order vials for baby #2, they remembered us. That meant everything.”
“As a trans man, I wasn't sure how I'd be treated when I called to ask questions about carrying a pregnancy. The Xytex team was knowledgeable, respectful, and didn't skip a beat. They made me feel like they'd helped hundreds of people like me—because they have.”
“Coordinating donor sperm with our surrogate's clinic in another state felt overwhelming at first. Xytex handled the shipping logistics seamlessly and kept us informed every step of the way. Our son is now 18 months old.”
“I'm a single queer woman who always knew I wanted to be a mom. Xytex never made me feel like I needed a partner to deserve good service. They treated my family-building goals with the same respect as anyone else's.”
Your Journey Starts Here
Create Your Free Account
Sign up in 2 minutes and get 7-day free access to browse all donor profiles—including baby photos, adult photos, essays, and medical histories.
Explore Donors on Your Terms
Take your time. Browse solo or with your partner. Filter by traits that matter to you. Read donor essays to get a sense of personality.
Schedule a Free Consultation
Have questions? Our team offers complimentary Zoom consultations to discuss your specific situation—no pressure, no sales pitch.
Order When You're Ready
Select your vials, choose your shipping method (to clinic or home in most states), and we'll handle the rest. Need help coordinating with your clinic? We do that too.
Frequently Asked Questions
Ready to Take the Next Step?
You don't have to have everything figured out. Start by browsing donors, asking questions, or just learning more. We're here whenever you're ready.